Blink Big
My son recently graduated from high school, and I was remembering the times when he was little and I would frequently hear an older mom say, “Don't blink! It goes so fast!” I would smile and nod and say “thank-you,” when they would say that to me, because I know the intention was good, but inside I would be feeling sad and stressed, thinking, “Do you think I am not aware of how fast time is flying or how hard I am trying to soak it all in everyday??”
Now I am an older mom I can tell you I did a lot of blinking, and it did go fast, but I don’t feel like I missed one thing. How? With intentional presence and this simple phrase: “No grit, No pearl.”
What does that mean? That means being a mom is HARD. It takes a lot of grit, and when you’re working hard you are very in the moment and somewhat unaware of time’s passing. It’s similar to being in labor….time ceases to exist while you are feeling every powerful sensation that is both beautiful and transformational and also hard! In the end you get a pearl of great price— something priceless that came from all of that stretching and opening and becoming that you can hold in your hand and treasure for the rest of your life. It stays with you.
There can be so much pressure to “hold on” as a mom.
Hold-on to the tender, beautiful moments of pregnancy and birth.
Hold-on to the newborn phase before they become crawling babies, then toddlers, then preschoolers, then..…high school graduates!
Hold-on as a form of waiting.
Hold-on as a form of survival.
Hold-on as a way to embrace the gifts of life most precious to you.
There can also be so much pressure on moms to “not blink,” and while you’re trying hard not to miss anything there may also be times where you feel simultaneously guilty for wishing away the less-than-desirable things associated with motherhood like exhaustion, over stimulation, or feeling like a failure when you need to step away for a moment.
Intentional presence is something we talk a lot about in hypno-birthing. You are choosing to be in the moment and not run from it. You are choosing to embrace your value and your self worth and every cell in your beautiful amazing mom body in real-time by thanking you body for all the places it has taken you in life. You are in every moment so that when you look back you see how you have held every tender, juicy, gritty morsel in your heart, without judging it for being “good’ or “bad” and just allowed it to soak into every little nook and cranny so that when you look back— you see the pearl.
My baby boy graduated last weekend. He is my 2nd child and my first VBAC baby. His birth was the first time I had a doula at my birth and that experience ultimately inspired me to become a doula myself! His birth is quite literally why I am writing to you today! It’s amazing to consider how one little 10 lb fat VBAC baby boy has transformed my life so completely.
No grit, no pearl mamma. Dig in to the messy. Dare to blink— dare to close your eyes and breathe the grit of it in. Dare to stare with wide-eyed astonishment at all that you have been given, all that you are doing, and all that lies ahead, waiting to evolve into something amazing.
We, at Nurture, are so grateful to be part of your journey during this time of your life. I hope when your baby turns 18 and graduates from high school someday, you will look back and see the support you found here in our community. Come back and tell me about it someday! I would LOVE to hear your story. For now, let’s keep on living it. Intentionally. With presence. A whole lotta grit. And one precious pearl of an experience in becoming a mom.
Love, Erica