Patience, Faith, and Trust

42+3.  Three words to describe my labor story… patience, faith, and trust. My son, Maxwell Michael Borgmann, was delivered on 10/25/2022 at 8:50pm at Mercy Fairfield hospital. 

I was able to achieve an amazing, redemptive, spiritual, joyous natural birth. The hardest part of my labor/birth story was waiting for his arrival. I delivered at 42+3 and I could have never achieved that without my support system of Nick, my mom, Erica, and my OB (Dr. Bowen). 

At my OB visit on 10/20/22, I was 41+5 and had no signs of dilation, but had reports that my cervix was soft. I poked and prodded for a reason to be induced, but the OB said the only real reason to induce was time. My husband and I decided to wait through the weekend and would return to the OB office on Tuesday 10/25, hoping that I would go into labor over the weekend. This was the hardest weekend of my life. I prayed like I have never prayed before, worked on my affirmations, and spent time with my family. 

On Saturday, 10/22/22, I was exactly 42 weeks and I lost my mucus plug. It felt like a giant reward that on that day as my body showed me that my patience was paying off. 

On Sunday and Monday, 10/23 and 10/24, I still was not having much action, but did have the bloody show start to happen. Cramping was still irregular, but more frequent. I felt like every time my body had a twinge, I would get so excited and thought to myself “IT’S HAPPENING”. 

Now we get to Tuesday, 10/25, where I was officially 42+3. I woke up around 230am with strong cramps. They were so uncomfortable that I woke up and got on my hands and knees on the couch to see if that would make them feel better. We had our OB appt at 1030 where we found out that I was 3cm dilated and 80-90% effaced. “HALLELUJAH” I thought to myself. I even got emotional because I was expecting not to be dilated… again. Dr. Bowen did a membrane sweep and we went home with the idea that if I was not in labor or at the hospital by Wednesday at 8am, I would go there to be induced. 

After our appointment, we went and got lunch, went home and packed up the rest of our things as my surges started to become more regular. The funny thing was that I kept saying, “these are not real” because they were still pretty inconsistent. We joke that I was in “labor denial” because we waited so long for Max to come that I thought he was tricking us again! Ha! 

By 430 pm my surges were consistent and approximately 4-5 minutes apart so we went to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital by 5pm and I was approximately 4-5 cm. The surges were intense and the hip squeezes were a game changer, they really helped distract from the pain of the contractions. When Erica arrived to the hospital, I immediately felt relieved that my whole team was there. We had the affirmations playing in the background which I really loved hearing. We used the affirmations that Erica provided as well as the Christian Hypnobirthing app. 

Between 530pm and 7pm, I remember the surges being so intense. I hated the intermittent monitoring, I hated being still and having to sit on the ball or be still next to the bed. I kept asking Erica for an epidural, I think about 3-5 times at the height of the contractions. My mom said she always knew when the contraction was coming down because I would say “shit” at the end. Nick, my mom, and Erica did a great job of encouraging me not to get the epidural and just to get through the next contraction. 

In the background, Erica was working to get the labor tub set up (we had to bring this with me) as the hose did have the correct connection and the tub was too big for the shower. After working with the staff, we decided to switch rooms so I could get into the tub. 

At 7pm, Dr. Bowen checked me and I was 8cm!!! I thought “oh my gosh”, what progress in such a short period of time! Around 750pm, we think I was officially around 10cm dilated. The labor tub was ready in the room next door so we packed up and went over to get into the tub. I got into the tub and it was INSTANT relief. I cannot even describe how amazing it felt to get into the tub. My body was instantly relaxed and the warmth felt SO good. 10/10 would recommend a labor tub for anyone that wants to achieve a natural labor. I remember feeling a “POP” and my water broke in the tub. That was also a huge pressure relief for my pain during the surges. I remember Erica telling me to feel for Max’s head when I was in the tub, it was shocking, my eyes got huge and I couldn't believe that I felt his head with my hands.

At 8pm Dr. Bowen checked me again. I was 10cm and +3. At the time, I did not know what "+3" meant, but the staff started to stir and Dr. Bowen told me that I had to get out of the tub. I was sad about getting out of the tub because it felt so good. +3 means that Max was in the lowest station and that it was time to start pushing! 

At 8pm, I started pushing. The first position was on my knees facing the head of the bed, then I switched to my right side. I remember asking the nurse “I just want to confirm that it is too late to get an epidural”, we both laughed, she said “girl you are doing this!”. 

Pushing felt SO good. It was like a secret reward that I was not expecting. My mom took videos, the sounds I was making were low, loud, primal. In between pushes, everyone said I was so calm. My eyes were closed and I believe that I was able to achieve a true hypnobirth.

The final position that I pushed in was on my back. It felt good to let my back muscles relax. Pushing was intense, it was about 3 pushes per contraction and the second one was always my strongest. I started to feel the “ring of fire”, I knew that meant that he was close. I had a friend tell me that the ring of fire is intense but that means you’re about to meet your baby. I honestly don’t remember that feeling too much. 

At 8:50, my son was born. I remember looking in the light on the ceiling and saw the reflection of his head come out. I yelled “HIS HEAD IS OUT”!! Dr. Bowen encouraged me to try to slow down pushing, but that was not going to happen. One more push and Max was on the outside. That feeling was incredible!! I kept saying “I DID IT, I DID IT, I f****** DID IT”. It was the craziest high I have ever had in my life. It was redemptive, magical, intense, joyous. I remember looking at Nick, he had such joy in his eyes as he saw our son for the first time. I will never forget Nicks face or seeing Max for the first time. 

I am so glad that I persevered and did not get the epidural. The temptation is there, but everyone kept me grounded and encouraged me to just take one more step. Nick, Erica, and my mom were wonderful. I trusted them and they trusted me. I would not have been able to achieve this without them. The number one lesson I learned through this whole process was to just trust. Trust God, trust my body, and trust that birth is the most magical gift in our womanly lives. 

“May your father and mother have joy; may she who bore you rejoice.” Proverbs 23:25